


I should have known I loved you

by ImaginaryDragons



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, IT'S GAY, Lena is a lesbian, Lena realizes she's always been gay for kara, Lena's internalized homophobia, Smut, guardiancorp break up, kara rides a motorcycle, or at least in this fic she is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-28 10:37:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16721727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImaginaryDragons/pseuds/ImaginaryDragons
Summary: post 4x06 Lena and James's fight leads Lena to a revelation that changes the way she looks at her and Kara's friendship.This whole time she had been trying to be with Kara. She didn't even know it. She had been with James because of how close he was to Kara. Lena had wanted to be with a super, be with Kara. She hadn't even realized it. She always thought it was just a platonic thing. It was a platonic wish to cuddle her best friend. It was platonic to build her a statue and fill her office with flowers. All this time she hadn't been in love with James, yes she had cared for him in a way but she didn't love him. She loved Kara.She was in love with Kara Danvers. The woman that never stopped believing in her. The one person that didn't see her as a Luthor but treated her like a hero. Kara treated her like no one else had; Kara treated her with love and respect something no one else did.





	I should have known I loved you

After the fight with James Lena was unsure of what to do. Se was hurting. He had hurt her, he had insulted her. He had rejected her. It hurt. It hurt to be rejected for trying to protect someone. She had done what she knew to do, to fight for who she loved. Apparently the way she loved wasn't’ good enough though, at least not for James it wasn’t. She had tried to get back to working on the cancer cure. 

She had worked through the rest of thanksgiving day. She ignored all of her calls. Eliza had even tried to see her at L-corp. Lena felt guilty for turning the woman away, but she just couldn’t face anyone at the moment. It had been hours, it had been over seven hours at least. Lena hadn’t even realized it until Kara walked into the lab. She had a bag of leftovers in her hand and her signature bright smile plastered on her face. Lena felt her heart lift. All the pain of the day seemed to ease when she looked at Kara. Kara had come to see her. Lena hadn’t even told Kara that she was leaving thanksgiving, she hadn’t told Kara where she would be either. Kara had tracked her down just to see her and bring her food. Any time Lena doubted herself Kara seemed to magically appear there; just like she was doing right then. 

“You left early so I brought you some food and I was hoping that we could go to your place for an impromptu movie night?” Kara said the last part hesitantly. She fidgeted with her glasses while she waited for Lena to respond. 

Lena went ahead and shut down the project for the night. “Of course, I could really use a movie night about now.” 

“I heard about what happened with James; I’m sorry Lena. He shouldn’t have talked to you like that he shouldn’t have treated you like that.” Lena could see the anger in Kara’s eyes, she had never seen Kara angry like that. She had seen Kara protective when she was around Edge and even when Maggie had arrested her. Kara had been protective but not angry. 

Lena gave Kara a soft smile but didn’t respond. She wasn’t sure what to say; Kara didn’t blame her. She had expected Kara to blame her, to tell her that she had been wrong to lie to James even if it was to keep him safe. No, Kara was supporting her,s he was standing by her. It was the last thing she had expected, then again Kara was always defying Lena’s expectations. Every time the world went against her Kara would be there to have her back. Lena should have known it would be the same this time too. 

Kara and Lena walked through the building rather silently, Kara would occasionally say something but for the most part it was silent. Lena wasn’t in much of a talking mood. Kara seemed to respect that she didn’t try and start up a conversation. Lena was glad that Kara didn’t push her to talk. She wasn’t ready. All the emotions were swimming in her head. She was hurt but somehow kind of happy. She wasn’t sure what she felt but she did know that Kara being there was already helping. 

They waved to Eve on the way out; Lena could swear that Eve winked at Kara when they passed. Lena felt something between anger and betrayal in her stomach. She didn’t know why but it bothered her that Eve had winked at Kara. It never bothered her when people had checked out James or flirted with him in front of her. She hadn’t blinked an eye then but sudeenly Eve winking at Kara made her feel jealous. When she thought about it she had felt the same thing when she had saw Kara with Mon-el and she had felt it when Kara was next to James. That’s why she had started thinking hse liked James. It was just because Kara was her only friend right? It couldn’t be anything more than that. 

Lena was snapped out of her thoughts when Kara cleared her throat. They were already outside, Lena hadn’t even registered them leaving the building. “Do you want me to call your driver or are you good riding on my motorcycle?” 

“Uh yeah sure” Lena barely got the words out. The thought of holding onto Kara as they drove down the road made her heart pound. The thought of Kara on a motorcycle was making her brain short circuit. 

Kara smiled brightly and handed Lena a helmet. “I’m going to need you to hold the food, is that ok?” 

Lena nodded dumbly. Lena almost dropped the food as Kara handed it over to her. That snapped her rout of it. She knew she shouldn’t be acting like this over Kara but she couldn't stop it. Lena swallowed the lump in her throat as she wrapped her free arm around Kara’s waist. The simple touch was setting her skin on fire. It somehow felt perfect yet like she was meant to be holding Kara. She shook her head she can’t be thinking about her best friend like that. She wasn’t into Kara like that, no she wasn’t gay, she dated men. USually men that Lillian had pushed her way, or men like James that were so close to Kara….. No no she dated them because she was straight, she had to be straight didn’t she?

The ride seemed to end too soon. As Lena quickly found herself and Kara right in front of her apartment building. She was almost disappointed a she removed her arm from around Kara’s waist. She immediately missed the closeness of Kara’s body. 

“You ok your face is a bit red? Did the ride make you motion sick? I know I’m not the greatest driver.” Kara was going worrying over her putting her hand on Lena’s forehead trying to check here temperature. 

“Kara I’m fine I promise and you are a great driver.” Lena put a gentle hand on Kara’s shoulder hoping to dissuade the other woman’s worry. 

Kara let out a breathe and relaxed some but she still looked a bit worried about Lena. “just let me know if you start feeling bad.” 

There was still a small frown on Kara’s face and part of Lena was craving to kiss it away. Lena took a deep breathe. She couldn’t be thinking like this she liked James she loved James right? HE was strong like Kara (yes she did know Kara was supergirl) he was noble like Kara. He was a hero like Kara. No she needed to stop comparing him to Kara she wasn’t into Kara. 

What if she was attracted to Kara though? It’s not like it would be a bad thing for her to be a lesbian. Lillian had always forced her to date men so maybe that’s why she always thought she was straight. Even after she had moved away from Lillian almost all of her relationships had to do with business. Lena had dated people that worked with her, she dated them because they were there. 

“Earth to Lena.” Kara was waving a hand in front of her face.

“Sorry sorry, I didn’t mean to zone out. Let's just head inside.” Lena tried ot give Kara a reassuring smile but with all the confusing emotions swirling around in her she only managed a half hearted smile. 

Kara gave her a look but didn't’ press her. When they walked through the doors Kara smiled and waved at the security guard. It made Lena smile too. She loved-- no no it was one of her favorite things, the way that Kara would be so kind and bubbly around people even ones she never spoke too. 

Lena found herself leaning her head on Kara’s shoulder as they rode up in the elevator. Kara wrapped her arm around Lena’s shoulders. They were in some little buble all their own. Lena felt content having Kara hold her. She didn’t want the moment to end, but when the elevator doors opened their bubble popped. 

Kara quickly walked out the kitchen so that she could heat up their food, “Lena why don’t you set up the movie? What disney movie are we on? Frozen?” Kara called back to Lena over her shoulder. 

“I think it’s frozen we watched Brave last movie night.” Lena started setting up the movie, Kara had convinced her to buy the dvd’s for almost all the disney movies. Lena had wanted to just get them on amazon but Kara had insisted that she needed the dvd’s because they had the special features. 

Lena went ahead and got comfy on the couch. She could hear Kara moving around in the kitchen, it was such a normal thing for them. For Kara to be there, it almost felt wrong when Kara wasn’t there. Kara was over at Lena’s apartment most days, they would either work on their respective projects together or simply lounge around. Kara even slept over most nights. Then Lena realized that they did everything a couple does, well except kiss. They acted like a couple, they spent time together like one they worked together as a unit. Lena hadn’t even realized just how romantic she and Kara were. 

Lena ran a hand through her hair. She was stressing. It was all unfolding in front of her. She had always been interested in Kara. SHe had thought Kara was attractive when they first met; at the time she had passed it off for being just a scientific observation. But now she was reconsidering it. What if this whole time she had been falling for Kara. It would explain why she had hated Mon without even knowing him. It would explain why she had done so many things just to make Kara smile, like building the statue and filling Kara’s office with flowers. 

The more Lena thought about it the more it made sense. Before she had seen James with Kara she hadn’t been interested in him in fact she had hated him. Before she saw him as a hero like supergirl she hadn’t been found him attractive and she didn’t really find him attractive after no she found the comparison attractive. She had wanted someone like Kara, like supergirl. She had never wanted him that way. She had grown to like him and even to trust him but was it ever actually attraction?

Lena was snapped out of her thoughts when Kara sat down next to her. “I went ahead and fixed your plate, I tried to grab all of your favorites and I saved you some of Eliza’s pecan pie.” 

“I’m surprised you saved me so much food. Usually you eat it all.” Lena teased. 

Kara blushed and ducked her head. “Well you are worth saving food for.” 

Lena felt her heartbeat a little faster at Kara’s words. She didn't’ know how to respond so she just took a bite of her pie. The next hour went along with them talking between bites of food. Lena tried to keep her focus on the movie but it always went back to Kara. To how she might just be in love with Kara. Actually it wasn’t a might it was a fact. She loved Kara and she had no idea what to do. If she said something it could ruin their friendship. But she didn’t want to just let it go and move on. She wanted to be with Kara.

As the movie was wrapping up Kara turned to Lena “You’ve been so silent Lena. Are you ok? I know that you told James you love him and he was a complete jackass in return.” There was an anger in Kara’s voice one that Lena hadn’t heard before. “He doesn't deserve you, he never did. He always talked about you like you were Lex. You are good you are amazing and he, he just takes you for granted I would--” Kara quickly cut herself off. 

“You would what?” Lena was hesitant to ask, but for some reason she had hope. 

“Never mind it’s nothing Lena.” Kara gave Lena a half hearted smile. She was trying to cover something up.

“Kara don’t, it’s obviously not nothing please talk to me.” Lena cupped Kara’s cheek and gently turned Kara’s head so that the other woman would be looking at her. 

Kara took a deep breathe, Lena could tell that Kara was trying to calm herself down. The other woman was trying to work up the nerve to tell Lena whatever it was. “Before I say it please promise me that you won’t hate me, and you won’t stop being my friend.” 

Lena’s heart broke a bit, Kara was so scared of losing her. Lena hated that, hated how Kara was doubting herself. “I could never hate you, you are my favorite person in the world Kara. You’re my best friend nothing you say could change that.” 

“I was going to say I would treat you better. I would treat you the way you deserve. If you let me love you I would treat you like the incredible woman you are.” Kara said quietly, she was scared. Lena’s heart felt like it was about to beat out of her chest. Kara wanted her, Kara loved her.

“Kara, I- I I’d like that. If we were together.” 

Kara’s head shot up, there was a look of both excitement and fear on her face. “Really?”

Lena smiled softly, “I think that’s exactly what I’ve wanted all along.I don’t think I was ever actually into James I just wanted to be with someone like you even if it was in the smallest way.” 

Lena leaned forward slowly, giving Kara time to pull back if she didn’t want this. Kara leaned forward though and their lips met in a kiss. One that made it feel like every piece had fallen into place for Lena. It felt right in a way that nothing ever had. The kiss slowly changed form a soft gentle kiss to a more passionate one. The kiss deepened and Lena found herself laying on the couch with Kara above her. Lena pulled away for air and Kara started kissing down her neck. 

Lena’s hand found its way into Kara’s hair, she gave Kara a gentle tug and pulled Kara back up for another kiss. This one was more passionate than the last. Lena can’t get enough of the feel of Kara’s lips or the feel of being this close to Kara. She never wants it to end, yet she wants more. Lena uses one slightly trembling hand to start undoing the buttons on Kara’s shirt. 

Kara got impatient though, she floated as she unbuttoned her own shirt quickly. Lena quickly brought her hands up, she raked one hand down Kara’s abs causing the woman above her to shudder. Lena used her other to pull Kara down for another kiss. Lena let her hands roam over Kara’s chest. When Lena cupped Kara’s breast through her bra, Kara broke their kiss and let out a strangled whimper. Lena pushed at Kara’s shoulders the blonde let Lena guide Kara till she was sitting. Lena quickly straddled Kara. She pushed Kara’s shirt down her shoulders and Kara threw it to the floor. 

Kara had one hand on Lena’s hip and the other was inching below Lena’s shirt. Lena pushd the cup of Kara’s bra a side revealing a pebbled nipple She took it between her fingers and pinched, she massaged the other through the fabric of the bra. Kara moaned and bucked her hips upwards. Lena let out a squeak when Kara’s hand went from her hip to her ass. Lena responded by taking her free hadn’t and unhooking Kara’s bra. “Why am I half naked and you haven't taken off even one thing.” Kara said panting. Lena was surprised and frankly proud of herself, she had never seen Kara out of breath before. 

Lena smirked and wriggled back some. “Well I guess it’s about time we changed that.” Lena slowly lifted her shirt above her head; she made a show of it just to tease Kara. When Lena finally threw the shirt away she saw Kara sitting with her mouth open in a state of what could only be described as gay panic. 

“You ok there Kara?” Lena said with a smirk. Kara just nodded dumbly before pulling LEna’s body flush against hers. 

Lena ran her hands through Kara’s hair. “Why don’t we move to the bedroom” 

Kara picked lena up in one swift movement. They made their way down the hallway to the bedroom with Kara kissing up and down Lena’s neck. Every few moments Kara would press Lena against a wall so that she could kiss her thoroughly. When they finally reached her bedroom door Lena could hear the door handle break when Kara opened it. She made a mental note to replace it with an nth metal one. 

Kara quickly deposited her on the bed, Lena could swear that she had used superspeed. Kara crawled up to where Lena was, she slipped one of her legs between Lena’s. Kara pushed Lena’s skirt up to her waste. Lena was grinding down onto Kara’s thighs with only her panties and Kara’s pants separating their bodies. Lena scraped her nails down Kara’s back; Kara let out a moan and nipeed lightly at Lena’s throat.

“Kara please don’t tease.” Lena said desperately. She ground upwards trying to get some sort of friction. She felt like she was on fire, she needed Kara. Needed Kara to touch her she needed to feel Kara’s body against hers.

Kara smirked at Lena. Lena tried to push Kara’s head lower, to guide her to where she needed her most. Kara was taking her sweet time though, and it was driving Lena mad. Kara moved down Lena’s chest at a snail's pace. Lena tired of Kara’s torturous slowness she arched her back and took off her own bra before returning her arms to around Kara’s shoulders. That seemed to speed Kara up. She kissed and licked around one of Lena’s boobs while she used one hand to tease the other. Lena wasn’t sure if it was her moaning or if it was Kara. 

Lena felt like she was going to explode. She was so worked up yet so far from release. She needed Kara. Yet Kara was still taking her sweet time lavishing attention on Lena’s breasts. While she did enjoy it there was something much better Kara could be using her mouth for. Lena pushed at Kara’s shoulders gently. The blonde moved back and gave Lena a confused look. LEna let out a whimper and pushes Kara’s shoulders down her body. Kara took the hint and started kissing lower and lower. 

Lena’s hips bucked when Kara finally reached her destination. Lena had half a mind to be embarrassed by how wet she was but then again she didn’t really care, not as long as Kara kept looking at her like that. Kaara was looking at her like she had hung the stars in the sky. 

“May I?” Kara asked it almost reverently as she motioned to Lena’s skirt and underwear. Lena nodded franticly unable to form words.

Kara struggled trying to unzip Lena’s skirt for a moment, then she decided to just tear it and her panties off in one swift move. It took the breath right out of Lena’s lungs. If she hadn’t been turned on before she certainly was now. Kara lightly nipped at Lena’s thighs. Slowly making her way closer to Lena’s aching core. Lena let out a loud moan when Kara finally leaned in and gave Lena an experimental lick. She ran her tongue through Lena’s folds teasing Lena while still bringing her closer to the release she so needed. Kara moved up and began quickly circled her tongue around Lena's clit, occasionally flicking it. Kara’ menstruations quickly turned Lena into a moaning mess. 

Lena used one of her hands to tease her own breast and the other found it’s sway into Kara’s hair. Lena pushed Kara’s head down just far enough for Kara to dip her tongue into Lena’s core, building her up with slow thrusts. Lena could feel the familiar build up in her stomach, she was so close she just needed a little push. 

“More please Kara more.” Kara obliged, she switched her tongue for her fingers. She slowly dipped two fingers into Lena’s wetness. Lena let out a long moan. Kara started with slow thrusts then began to move quicker Lena was letting out a steady stream of broken moans. She didn't even realize that she had begun begging Kara for more, begging her to go faster. She was so close, she could see white flashing behind her eyes, she just needed just a little bit more. 

More ended up coming in the form of Kara vibrating her fingers. Lena’s back arched off the bed and she could hear herself scream Kara’s name. She had no doubt that the neighbors could hear it. Lena felt like she wasn’t even in control of her body any more; there were fireworks going off behind her eyes. She felt Kara wrap her arms around her and hold her gently as she came down. When Lena finally came back to herself Kara was looking up at her with a gentle smile. 

“You ok?” 

“Mmmhm I’m more than ok.” Lena slurred out, she was exhausted. Her limbs felt like they were made of led. “I’m just gonna rest for a little while and then I’ll return the favor.” 

Kara gave Lena a gentle smile. She cuddled closer to Lena, Lena laid her head on Kara’s shoulder. She didn’t mean to fall asleep she truly didn’t. It was just far to comfortable laying there with Kara and she was so so tired. It was so easy to fall asleep with Kara holding her. It was so peaceful and it just felt so right.


End file.
